I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
