i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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