some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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