Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
