Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
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