Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
