I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
