girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
