i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
