JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I love having hate sex.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
