She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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