eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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