Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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