She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Randomize
