Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
it glows. i had to have it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
