Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
