So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
