Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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