Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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