Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
