jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
