He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
