Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
