I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
