that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
