Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Tornado booty call.. dedication
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize