me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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