Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
