Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
