i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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