Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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