The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
