Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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