I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
