What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Dignity is for republicans.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize