How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
