He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
