I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
