Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
