So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
