It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
