I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
