Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
