i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
