So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
