do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
