When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
