Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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