I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
