Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
