My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize