I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
