Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize