And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
