Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Are my feet made of real feet?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just had sex on a roof
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize