Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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