just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
