I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
